Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be so hard.
This week, God has really been breaking me down.
It's painful, but It's a good pain. Because through my mixed emotions, and tears, and hurt, I am growing.
The enemy has been at a constant attack on me.
I've been doubting myself and I've been doubting God.
This always happens whenever I seek Him and fully invest in Him. The devil rips me apart and puts all these negative thoughts in my head.
I know I am supposed to be here, and I know God is about to do some incredible things,
but this initial process is just extremely overwhelming.

Yesterday, we went out in groups of 3 and did some evangelism.
I've never been a fan of preaching or doing the religious talk because that's not what I'm about, but luckily, YWAM feels the same.
Going out into the city, our goal wasn't to convert anyone. Our goal was to bring happiness and love.
We had a paper with a list of questions on it, all having to do with happiness.
"Are you Happy?"
"What makes you happy in life?"
"What's your purpose in life?"
"Do you think you are fulfilling your purpose?"
and
"Does God have anything to do with your fulfillment?"
We didn't chant bible verses and all hold hands in a big "christian" circle or anything. We just wanted to hear the people. We wanted to hear their story.
What makes you happy?


I was excited to go out and meet the world, but this task was easier said than done.
London is a very difficult place due to the diversity and language differences.
I smiled at every person I passed. Not one of them smiled back. They were all so dead. No emotion, Most of them looked at me strangely as if they'd never seen a smile before. This really discouraged me in talking to anyone.
This morning I walked through the city again and prayed over the streets. This place truly needs love and they truly need God.

I feel blessed to be in such an amazing place with amazing opportunities, but God definitely has his work cut out for me.

I pray for God's strength, comfort, and peace. I know I need it, and I know my team needs it.
For now, I will keep pressing forward.

God Bless!
Love,
Makayla